Tuesday, June 16, 2009

The water bottle.....

A bottle of water sits atop my dresser. It is the water bottle that Cody so desperately tried to sip just hours before his death. He was confusing the oxygen mask being held in front of him with the straw that had been placed in the bottle. The lack of oxygen had left him disoriented. Being the strong fighter that he was he struggled to sit up with all his might and take a drink. The mask had left his lips chapped and his mouth dry. His little body was trying to quench his thirst. Even is his dire condition his sheer will gave him strength.

Each night before bed I look at the water bottle. It has been evaporating little by little each day. It breaks my heart to see it go as I want nothing more than for it to remain just as it was, to forever hold onto it. The evaporation is creating an empty space, a space that will never be full again.

A family, a life, a heart, and a water bottle......

We so miss our baby.

19 comments:

Rose said...

I am so sorry.

Rachelle @ "Mommy? I'm Hungry!" said...

((((((HUGS))))))

Trish said...

The water bottle isn't empty it is just filling with air instead of water. Just like Cody isn't gone, he is just with you in a different capacity.

megan said...

I read your blog often and never seem to commnt I just dont have the right words. All I can offer is my prayers for your familys hearts. Blessings to you
Megan

Lund7 said...

What a bitter sweet post. Blessings to you as you continue to grieve for that precious little boy!!

mommaof4wife2r said...

still praying for you all...

MB said...

I am going through the same thing with Mason's "smell" on his pillow, bed sheets and clothes on the back of his door. He always smelled good, especially his hair and I loved just running my fingers through his hair. His smell is starting to fade and I wish I could hang on to it for the rest of my life here... like getting a breath of it would somehow give me a little boost of his strength. There are so many "little" realities that life goes on and they hurt big.

MangoAK said...

Thoughts and prayers continue to be with you and your family.

Glorybelle said...

Oh, my heart. I'm so sorry, Mickey. I would do the exact same thing and hold onto that bottle forever... and ever.

Debbie and Sam said...

My younger cousin visited my home in VA from PA about a month before her brain tumor reappeared with a vengance. After she passed away just 2 months later I found her jean shorts that she had thrown over the poll in the closet. They stayed their for 6 years until I moved. When I moved, there were the very last item packed. Today, they remain in the box but the vitamins she left in my kitchen drawer are still in the same ziploc and have just been transferred to the new kitchen. I find some much peace opening the drawer and seeing the plastic bag tucked away. I am sure it is much like your bottle. Blessings to your family.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry.

Dottie O said...

I really like what Trish wrote.

Anonymous said...

Nobody how meet Cody would ever be able to forget him. Though the water bottle is slowing being empty of water. Cody will never leave the hearts of those he touched.

Susan and Jonathan

MB said...

You were in our thoughts and prayers yesterday. I know it wasn't the same without Cody here with you but I hope you were able to feel his love from Heaven. Cody must be so proud of you for all that you are doing.

elizabethnyc said...

I don't have the right words, Mickey. I keep typing and erasing, typing and erasing. You and Diane show an amazing strength as you take each day and get through it, with each other and with Justin and Daniela - and with Cody always in mind and heart.

Prayers continue, and hugs to you all.

James 1:27 Family said...

Thank you for being so honest. Your words will bless others. I am so sorry for your pain. I cannot imagine. May God hold you closely through this time.

Aggie said...

I can only imagine how much you must miss him. I continue to pray for you and your family daily.

Anonymous said...

... anyone who has known loss - understands the water bottle - Thank you for sharing this post.. the words are so powerful. It takes my breath away.

Monica said...

So beautiful and eloquently put...the bottle may be empty, but your heart is full of love...
peace, Diane..

monica