Five for Fighting...

Yesterday morning while at work I got a call from Diane. She told me she just won tickets to a concert. It turns out that she not only won tickets but she won stage passes for the pre-concert warm-up. The band turned out to be "Five for Fighting"... We had to be at Lisner Auditorium on the campus of George Washington University in DC. So she and I took the Metro down and made it by 5pm. Diane and I with 4 others who had won tickets were able to have our own private 3 song warm up show. Then he (John Ondrasik) the lead singer called us up on stage to meet the band. First of all, I must say, they were all the most personable guys you would want to meet. We chatted with John and the band, talking about the crazy winter we have had and how lucky they were that they missed the snow. I was quick to mention what a fan I was and that his music has deep meaning to us and many others. I had read that he is very active with many charities. I mentioned Cody and our foundation. Not wanting anything but just to pass the word out about our cause. He was very sincere and asked questions. We posed for pictures and then had to leave so the other band could setup and practice. Diane and I went out for dinner and to burn some time before the show at 8pm.

We got back to the Auditorium and picked up our tickets at Will Call. They turned out to be great seats. We were 10 rows from the stage and the view was great. Also, the acoustics at Lisner Auditorium are very good. Anyway, the first song that he and the band sang was "Chances" and before I could get my camera ready to record he said "this is for Cody." Diane and I were so proud. I know that there were only 4 or 5 of us there that knew what "Cody" he was talking about but it meant the world to us. We stayed and watched the whole show and enjoyed every moment. Diane and I aren't use to staying up so late these days but we had a great time. I can honestly say that we are fans for life. I guess we were supposed to go to that show last night.

Oh, and just in case you wondered where "Five for Fighting" came from. It is a hockey term and actually a penalty for fighting. He is a big hockey fan. And notice the Montreal shirt he is wearing..

One year...

Hello All,

It’s hard to believe that this Saturday the 6^th will be the one year anniversary of the passing of our precious baby boy. It seems like yesterday while it also seems like so long ago. Although the pain has eased it still burns in my heart. Every day, every run and every quiet moment he is on my mind. Why did he have to go so soon? Cody could have done so much with his life. Why did he have to suffer so? In his short life he suffered more than most people who live 10 times longer. If there is a heaven, what is Cody doing right now? I hope he can see us. I hope he is proud of me. I wish he would give us a sign. I hope that he communicates with his brother and sister. I hope that he guides them and protects them throughout their lives.

I often get kudos from my friends and co-workers. They tell me that I’m the strongest person they know. Little do they know that I’m probably one of the most fragile people they know. I look at my family and often worry about what I would do if anything happen to one of them. Life events and things that have happened in the past may appear to have made me stronger but in reality they have broken me. Just when I thought that I had it all figured out, I know nothing. I don’t think most people really know how fragile life is. Life as you know it can be snubbed out in the blink of an eye. You work, you plan, you save and lay out the best life plans. It can all be gone in a heartbeat.

Justin and Daniela are starting to know what childhood is supposed to really be about. Since Cody’s passing they are starting to get more involved in school and after school activities. They are both playing basketball at the Boys and Girls Club. We are able to have a bit more structure in their lives. I’m sure they would give it all up if they could have Cody back in their lives. Justin goes to a tutor after school and is getting the best grades that he has ever received. I’m now butting heads with Daniela. She is a very head strong girl. She is very independent but also very insecure. They both have years to make up for. You really don’t know how much your child develops socially in the early years. Just playing with friends and school mates means so much. It teaches them how to interact with others their age. It teaches them what to say and not to say to others. Due to the stress involved in Cody’s battle with cancer, Diane and I both were guilty of not saying or reacting properly in certain situations. Justin and Daniela have payed for that stress. We owe them for so much lost time. While going through such a crisis we just didn’t have it.

This is already turning out to be a tough week. The darkness has already set in over Diane and me. These bad times seem to hit her much more than they do me. Where I get quiet and just want to be alone, she cries and mourns all over again. This one year anniversary will conclude a year of firsts for us. Our first family birthdays, holidays and just old daily life days… Although the day to day pain has eased a little it still hurts more than you could know. More unless you too have lost your child before their time.

Diane and I continue to promote Cody’s Crew and neuroblastoma awareness. She has been doing a wonderful job finding the best people and materials for our Cody’s Crew gear. Right now it isn’t about making a huge profit but getting the word out. We want people from all over to recognize the Cody’s Crew logo. I’m now known as the “flag guy”. I’ve done a couple full and half marathons with the flag and people have told me that they have seen the flag before. While running I get questions and kudos while carrying it. Running a marathon is quite a task. Running a marathon with a flag is even harder. I would carry 10,000 flags if it could bring my Cody back..

I know that it has been a long break since the last post. We have been very busy with our T-shirt sales and the Wine & Art Mixer. Concerning the latter, the Mixer was a complete success. Even with the major snow storms days and weeks leading up to it we had a great event. All those who attended had a wonderful time. Cody’s Crew raised over $1900 with the help of the wonderful artists and our friends and supporters. Thank you all very much.

Up next, our 1^st annual Cody’s Crew Golf Tournament. This event will be held on April 29^th @ Virginia Oaks Golf Club. You can go to our website for more information.