Where do we go from here???

There just won't be much good to report for a while. I had to come home by myself tonight. They kept Cody because they couldn't get the oxygen and pump delivered today. He is in such pain that it is unbearable to watch. Today they put him on a morphine drip pump. That is the pump that we are waiting for. They are going to get it started at the hospital before he can leave. He was in such pain today that they couldn't do the radiation. I'm not sure but they may decide to forgo it anyway.

We sat down with the doctor and social worker today. We talked about Hospice and the pros and cons. One issue that has to be researched is how my insurance would handle it if we wanted to hospitalize him if we chose to. Apparently some insurance companies give you a hard time if you turn to Hospice and then decide that you want to go back to hospital care. We also talked about how we are going to tell the kids. We have decided that we will have to tell them tomorrow. Due to his major pain and need for oxygen we asked the doctor how long she thought we would have left with him. She said that because his breathing is becoming more labored and yesterday's X-ray showed the beast is really taking over now it may happen very quickly. Diane pressed for a guess on the actual time and the doctor said it could be a week or two, she just didn't know for sure. We also have to make the decision of where we want him to be when he passes. That in itself is a tremendously difficult decision.

So, now we take it one task at a time, one day at a time. First, get him home. Second, talk to the kids tomorrow and cry together. After that who knows....