I wanted to let you know how things are going here. Mother's Day was very hard for us and especially Diane as you might expect. She was down in the dumps for two days. Although I haven't seen her today I did talk to her on the phone and she seems to be doing better.. Certain days and times seem to be hard for me. I can't explain it, I just think of Cody more some days and I miss him so. We still can't believe that he is not in our lives.
I think about what life is all about. I think that we humans believe in God because we just can't explain why things happen or really tough questions. Until Cody got sick I didn't really know what I thought and at times I still don't. I was not brought up in an overly religious environment. On the other hand as long as I've known Diane she has always said her prayers each night before bed. I can't speak for her and what she believes at this point. The loss of Cody has rocked her to her foundation. She has lost a part of herself and may never be the same. She seems to do a little better everyday. As for me, this has given me a purpose in my life. It has given me something to focus on. I hope that my children recognize what I'm doing and that some of it will rub off on them. As far as believing in God or the after life I feel as though I must believe. That is the only way I will see my son again.
I know that some of you may feel the need to write long paragraphs of scripture and that is OK but I'm not looking for reassurance or proof. I'm just releasing some of the pain I'm feeling right now. That was always what this blog has been about.