Sunday, February 22, 2009

The hardest thing I have ever had to do....

I knew I was going down to the hospital to sign some papers when I took Cody in yesterday. I even had a good idea what papers I was going to sign. Besides the authorization of Cody's medical records to be given to another hospital if necessary I had to do the unthinkable. I had to fill out "Do Not Resuscitate" papers for my son.Diane had spoken with the Dr. before I left for the hospital and the Dr. told here that she was going to have the papers ready to sign. You can never be prepared for that. The Dr. hopes that they will not be needed down there but we have to be prepared for the worse. With every stroke of the pen it was all I could do to see as my eyes were welling up. This is just not the way it is suppose to be.

So all the plans are in place, the cloths are packed and we are ready to go. We just hope that Cody can enjoy this trip for the whole week. Yesterday's visit to the hospital turned out to be much longer than we expected. He was scheduled to get plasma which we knew about. Then some of his liver numbers can back pretty bad. Cody has been complaining of a tummy ache the past few days. We didn't know if he was constipated from the morphine or what was going on. It turns out that he may have an infection in his liver. It is very swollen and has been bothering him most of the day and night. Up until now it was just his bilirubin numbers that were out of wack. But now they are all heading in the wrong direction. So, he was given two IV antibiotics before we left which he will have to be given our whole trip. We pray that it works because as it stands now we don't know what will give out first, his lungs or liver. He may not make it the full week.

Our little boy is slipping away from us right before our eyes. He no longer wants to wrestle with his brother or Chris. He just doesn't have it. He is very irritable and is so hard on Justin and Daniela although I'm sure he doesn't mean to be. Every once in a while there is a ray of light that shines through those dark clouds when he starts to laugh. Yesterday Justin went with us to the hospital. They were laying in the bed together while Cody was getting his infusion and Cody said something that made Justin laugh while he had a mouth full of soda. Justin could hardly keep from spitting the soda out all over the room. Well this made Cody laugh so hard. It almost made me cry to see them like that. I couldn't help but think that we will be so removed from those kind of moments in the days to come.

The doctors have been so helpful in getting us prepared for this trip. Dr. Abu-Gosh has been the best. She has been with Cody since the day he was first diagnosed 4 1/2 years ago. She is family. She has contacted the cancer center down in Orlando and the hospital down in Vero Beach where we are going. She has sent all of Cody's medical info to each of them so they will be ready just in case we have to go.

47 comments:

Monica Cassier said...

I won't stop praying...my heart is with you and your family...especially for dear cody...

Anonymous said...

Dear Mickey and family: please know that there are so many of us that love you all so much and that your little Cody has touched so many people. I hope you have a wonderful trip.

feetdon'tfailmenow

Hope said...

I'm praying for you all. My heart breaks for you. I hope your trip is everything you want it to be.

Cameron said...

I am so sorry that all of you and precious Cody are going through this. It is a parents worse nightmare and you are right, it is not suppose to be this way. I think about all of you every minute of the day. You never leave my mind and you NEVER leave my prayers. I feel so helpless and wish I could do more. We love you, we ALL love you...each of you! I hope you have a beautiful trip and that Cody's antibiotics kick in and he is not in any pain so he can enjoy this trip.

(((((MAJOR HUGS)))))
Love,
Mary

Carrie said...

I really hope that you can enjoy your trip to the beach. Cody is such a beautiful boy, and you are such a strong, wonderful family. I've learned so much from you...

BIG MO said...

My heart breaks for all of you as
it does for my self. Cody is a part of me also and it is not meant to be this way. I hope he will be able to enjoy the trip with
out too much pain. GOD be with you all and as you know, I will be checking on you all often. Please
tell Cody that GRANDMA JOHNSON hopes he has lots of fun there.
GOD watch over you all.....
LOVE & KISSES &&&& HUGS
MOM

Raymond said...

Dea and I are here Mickey. I don't know what else can be said. Cody and the family have many hearts going through this with you.

Anonymous said...

Dear Mickey & Family, Dave & I think of you all the time. You are always in our thoughts & prayers. We pray your trip will go well. God be with you all the angels take Cody home.
Dave & Linda

Mommy of a miracle said...

I just wanted to tell you that I am praying for your family and sweet little Cody. I hope you all can have lots of fun on your trip as a family and that Cody is able to really enjoy it too.

jeriberinanabana said...

I'm still praying for your family and little boy. It's not fair. I hope your trip is good and Cody has a wonderful time. You all deserve a good vacation.

masweet121902@yahoo.com said...

Dear Sweet Sweet Family...Though I only know you through your blog my heart breaks for you....I saw that your coming to Vero, That happens to be where my family lives please let me know if there is aboustley anything I could do to make your stay and better..Blessings

Anonymous said...

Although I only know you through your blog, my heart goes out to your family and I will be praying for you.

Juls said...

Praying for a week filled with lots of memories for your sweet family... Praying for your dear boy Cody, every day

The Leighton Family! said...

I will be praying that you all can enjoy your trip. May God be with you all! Lots of prayers~~~~~~~~~~

elizabethnyc said...

Prayers continue, Mickey and Diane, for both of you and Cody and Justin and Daniela. Enjoy these moments together this week, and I hope every precious second is special and wonderful.

Hugs to all,
ElizabethNYC

Anonymous said...

Still praying for Cody and the family! Hope you all make some wonderful memories at the beach. Just being there will be peaceful! Thinking and praying for you all throughout the day.

Teresa (tcoplen)

Raising Olives said...

Praying for you and for your family.

Blessings,
Kimberly

Anonymous said...

Continued prayers for Cody as well as you - Mickey, Diane, Justin and Daniela. May Cody have his time at the beach. Your struggle has reached far and wide. God Bless.

Greg
(mysol)

Terri said...

I hope Cody is able to enjoy every moment on the trip....and the rest of you as well...

My heart just breaks for you all...know that Cody and your family is in my thoughts and prayers daily...

Hugs
Terri

Dottie O said...

We pray still.

Have a wonderful time at the beach.


Dottie

Kelli said...

God bless you all. I wish I had the right words to say to make these circumstances more manageable, but I don't. I just hope you all have the time of your lives in Florida and I'm praying for you. I will post an update on my blog later today. I have friends who are praying.

209Mike said...

Praying for you guys big time. I hope you have many laughing memories this week. Cody is amazing. Keep the faith.

Anonymous said...

I hope the antibiotics give Cody some relief from his tummy ache so he can enjoy the beach. You are all in my prayers. The weather has been great here in Florida, not too hot and cloudless skies. Have a peaceful and family filled week. G2G

Gettin Older said...

I hope you can enjoy the trip and make lots of memories. Prayers continue.

Becky said...

I am so sorry for all of the difficulties that Cody is going through. I found your blog through the Riggs' and just wanted you to know that we are praying for Cody and your whole family. We sincerely hope and pray that you will be able to have some joyful times during your trip to the beach. God bless all of you.

Anonymous said...

I hope your week at the beach is full of sunshine and warm experiences together. My heart is with you.

judy716

Anonymous said...

Mickey, I just paused for a few min. because I don't know what to say. I will continue to pray, and I hope that you all are able to enjoy this week at the beach.
God Bless,
Bruce

runwest said...

Cody, may you enjoy the sand and ocean and warm sunlight, and the love from your parents and family and everyone who knows you.

Suzanne and Jayme said...

I am in awe of the strength your family has. I pray that your trip goes well and Cody makes it home well.

Anonymous said...

Prayers for Cody and the rest of your family from Pittsburgh, PA.

Gregory said...

Praying and hoping DeckApe for Cody. Please give him some strength!

Gregory (Pudov)

The Burk Family said...

"For this cause we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to desire that ye might be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding: That ye might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God; Strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness; Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of His dear Son; In whom we have redemption through His blood...For it pleased the Father that in HIM SHOULD ALL FULLNESS DWELL." Colossians 1:9-14,19

We will continue to pray for Cody and your family. I know we have never met, but If there is anything AT ALL that we could do please don't hesitate to contact us.

Although our situations were very different.. our daughter also faced the very real possibility of death.. she was offered little to no hope and we often quoted (among many other scriptures) Psalm 118:17"I shall not die but live and declare the works of the Lord."

So many long helpless hours we sat beside her hospital bed and said, "Serenity shall not die but live and declare the works of the Lord." Today she is a living miracle... a healthy toddler that keeps Mommy completely exhausted. Miracles still happen every day.

My heart crys out for you. I can not express the love and compassion I feel for your family... a family I only knew existed just a few short days ago. If you are interested in the scriptual based prayers we spoke over our daughter, contact me. If you just need someone to pray with you directly, call me. You can contact me through our blog, or our website or email me at tdnkgesburk@sbcglobal.net for a phone number.

May a peace that surpasses all understanding surround your family!
Love in Christ,
Dana Burk

Anonymous said...

May God watch over all of you as you make this trip to Florida. I continue to pray for all of you.

DollarBill

Anonymous said...

Hope all is well as you land in sunshine. Good thoughts and blessing for a peaceful, sunshine, love,fun trip. May God be with you and keep each of you safe. Make some foot prints in the sand for me.

Love,
John and Cheryl

Susan said...

Our church is praying for you. Ellen Ing is a member at our church and she told us about you.

I am so praying that you and Cody are able to enjoy this trip.

Anonymous said...

Mickey and Diane, enjoy the time you have with Cody. And the time he has with Justin and Abby. Prayers continue.

Susan and Jonathan

Anonymous said...

I hope you all had a nice flight down and are all settled in, comfortably.

Though I continue to be at a loss for words, I also continue to keep praying...

Kim said...

I'm praying for a miracle for sweet Cody. Miracles happen at the ocean, I just know it. Also praying that he feels better for your trip. So sorry you had to sign over those papers, that is just unimaginable. xoxo

Stacie said...

i am praying that you have the best week possible- one filled with the sweetest memories you can possibly make.

Donnetta said...

Number one - I'm praying for a miracle - for His arms to wrap around Cody and heal him.

Number two - I'm praying for a WONDERFUL pain free week to build many memories.

I'm sure today was horrendous, and I'm so sorry.

Anonymous said...

I know that Cody is a wonderful little guy... I pray that God gives him the strength to really enjoy this trip to the beach. Just wanted to tell all of you that you are in my thoughts and prayers. My heart holds a special place for Cody and I am praying his pain can be controlled to let him have the fun he so deserves. Praying your
trip is as special as it can be.
Tricia(GUH)

Cap'n Ron said...

Damn Buddy! I just don't have any words but I did want you to know that I was thinking about you guys.

God Bless all of you.

Remember to take care of yourself.

Ron

Anonymous said...

I happened upon your blog. I am so very sorry. I hope Vero is wonderful for Cody. (There is a shuttle launch scheduled Feb 27 - you would be able to see it from Vero)

Super B's Mom said...

Prayers continue in Alabama. We are praying for a comfortable week full of memory-making moments. May God give Cody strength and comfort. I pray that your hearts are filled with peace.

May God bless each member of your family.

Anonymous said...

I can't imagine the pain your family is going through. I will continue to pray for all of you. I hope your trip is peaceful.

Stacey from New Castle, PA

Alan Johnson said...

Hey Big Bro,

Just want to let you know we are always thinking of you and praying for the entire family. I'm glad your making it all the way down to Vero Beach. It's very nice there. Just remember, we are only aout 50 miles south of you, so, if you need anything, anything at all just give me a call and I will be there.

We love you guys and give Cody A very big Hug and Kiss from us.

Stay strong Mickey and Diane,

Love and Kisses,
Your little Bro,

Alan

Anonymous said...

My thoughts and my heart will be with you, with prayers going up every day, every time I think of your family and the times to come.
Tamara (runlonger)