Wednesday, May 14, 2008


Yesterday was a fairly slow day at the Johnson house. Cody slept in until 11 which is understandable after weeks of getting up early for his trips to Georgetown for radiation treatments. He continues to amaze us with his energy and spunk.
While watching him play I just can't help but tell myself that he just wants to be a kid. Take away the meds, the tubes, the needles, the trips to the hospital and give him school, his friends and the chance to just be a kid.

99.5 percent of the time Cody is an extremely loving and caring child. He is an angel... But,,, for the 5th day in a row he has been triggered into a rage that cannot be stopped. It gets so bad that I have to physically restrain him so he does not hurt himself or others. He screams at the top of his lungs. He starts destroying his toys or anything he can get his hands on. Lamps, glassware or any breakable items are not safe. He has no problem hitting his siblings, Diane or myself. This can all be set off by something as little as being told to settle down or not winning a video game. This session usually lasts from an half to 2 hours. After he settles down he usually comes and apologizes to Diane and I. This causes such stress around the house. His sister Daniela is usually brought to tears because she thinks I am hurting Cody or just doesn't understand what is going on.

Cody was going through this same thing while in the hospital during chemo treatments. When given certain drugs for pain or just side effect prevention he would occasionally have these. We have talked with the doctor about this and it was decided that we would wait until he is off many of the other meds before trying to deal this issue. I totally understand why my son is going through this. Hell,,, I would probably do the same thing if I were going through what he has. I wish I could take all of this away from him. He really never complains about all he goes through but in the back of his mind he has to be asking himself "why?"...

"Bound by Hope"


Trish said...

I am so sorry that you have to deal with all of this. I'm not a psychologist but I really think that just like this blog is your outlet those tantrums are Cody's. That doesn't make it easier or even appropriate but as adults I think we all get it. Cody is testing you and you are passing the test - you are still there and you still love him. You are right that it is hardest on the other kids. Maybe you could work on a plan for Daniela and Justin so that they have a 'safe place' to go when this happens. My husband is a school guidance counselor, if you think it would be helpful they could also help support the kids.

Gettin Older said...

Man, I'm sorry to hear that he is still having to deal with that. I can only imagine What is going through his head. I think trish is probably right on the mark. I can't imagine how I would relate to the world if I were in his shoes.

You are doing a great job Dad, keep it up.

Anonymous said...

Mickey, I know that you and Diane are doing everything you can. I believe Trish nailed it on the head. This is his way to get out his rage. It is just unfortunate that he also takes it out on Daniela and Justin. Praying for patience and peace of mind and health and hopefully calmness from Cody.

Susan and Jonathan

BIG MO said...

I'm not quite sure what to say this
time except that I am very proud of you & Dianne for trying to understand Cody and what he is really having to deal with and also how confused the other two must be. Again GOD BLESS YOU ALL.
I sure wish there was something I
could help with but like most everyone else, we can just keep on
praying and hope everything soon
gets all better.Keep loving those
kids and each other.Many of my friends ask everyday about CODY.
I'll check the BLOG again later.
LOVE you all very much.....

Dottie O said...

I'm at a loss as to what to say. I can't imagine wht all of you are going through but I feel certain you'll get through it. Sending prayers and strength that is more powerful than cancer,


elizabethnyc said...

I'm so sorry that ALL of you are going through this. What a tough thing to deal with... I wish there was more I could say or do, just know that there are a LOT of folks praying for all of you - for healing and for peace.